DandeLyin'
by Pete the Rock
Summary: April Fools oneshot. What if instead of all going at once, Iris had Ash go to the Flower Garden Troupe's base alone?
_Disclaimer: No ownership of Pokémon_

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 ** _DandeLyin_** _ **'**_

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Ash couldn't be in more of a pickle if he had any involvement. First, Ash's Pignite and Oshawott had an argument over the Pokémon food which Iris' Emolga ended up in friendly fire… or Hydro Pump. Then they ran into a trio of girls with a Lilligant, Roserade and Cinccino from the Flower Garden Troupe who then insulted their Pokémon for "being unattractive" and now he's been forced to dress like a girl… again! A wig of red hair, a blue ball gown and stiletto heels, he faced Iris and Cilan with discomfort reading his face. "Seriously, you two?" he complained. "Why am I the one who has to enter their office… and in this?" Iris and Cilan, not wearing any disguise whatsoever, shrugged their shoulders.

"I practically stand out with my skin tone as it is," Iris pointed out. "And Cilan doesn't pose well in a girl's outfit. Remember when he dressed as Elesa?" It had been some time since that competition. Cilan and his Pansage dressed as the Nimbasa City Gym Leader and her second Pokémon, but didn't impress the judge.

"In other words, you're the only one who can enter with the disguise," Cilan concluded. Ash, flustered with being the only choice, couldn't believe his misfortune.

"Does every region I travel to have me be a girl at least once?" he whined. From his words, this wouldn't be the first time Ash cross-dressed.

"Relax!" she urged. "It's only once that we ask you to do it, especially when our Pokémon's reputations are on the line." The pep talk didn't exactly help Ash's confidence the slightest. "Look, Emolga wants to get back at that Flower Garden Troupe as much as the rest of our Pokémon." Ash's face would tell everyone around that he didn't want to go through with the plan. No longer did that matter. Iris turned to Emolga, hoping her plan for revenge goes without a hitch. "Can I trust you to listen to Ash for this time?" Emolga squeaked to let Iris know she was going to come out on top.

"And I promise to look after Pikachu while on your mission," Cilan promised. There was no turning back for Ash. He had his mind set on Vertress City, home of the Unova Pokémon League. He earned the eight badges necessary to enter and even practiced at Cynthia's villa.

"This has to be the worst..." he mumbled. Iris recalled Emolga back to her Pokéball before giving it to Ash. He never had a chance to refuse, steps away from entering forbidden grounds.

"Now, now! You need to use a feminine voice." Ash cleared his throat before trying to speak like a girl.

"You mean like this?" Iris and Cilan were a little startled by Ash's attempt at speaking like a girl.

"Whoa, you sound almost like Dawn!" she awed.

"I'll say," Cilan agreed. "With that voice, you'll be entering the Flower Garden Troupe's base with the proper ingredients." Ash offered a minute sympathetic smile.

"Okay, let's get you through those doors. Moira, Mona and Cher won't know what hit them!" With Cilan pushing from behind and Iris pulling his arm, Ash got carried to the gate of the Flower Garden Troupe's building. "This is it! Go get 'em, Ash!" No Pikachu hanging on his shoulder, all he had now were Snivy and Emolga. Would she even listen to Ash? He opened the door and approached the receptionist's desk.

"Oh, how can I help you, beautiful?" the receptionist asked. Nerves shot up, Ash needed to keep his cool while meeting the girls in here and being one himself.

 _'Remember, if they learn you're a guy, it's game over,'_ he minded himself before clearing his throat. "I'm here for Miss Moira. She visited me not too long ago and wanted me to stop by." The receptionist seemed tickled at the visitor, unbeknown that she was a he.

"You do look rather pretty. I'm sure you'll fit right in to the troupe. She's with Mona and Cher down the hall." Ash felt one step closer to meeting the trio and unleashing Snivy and Emolga on the three and their Pokémon.

"Thank you." Ash proceeded down the hall, breathing a sigh of relief from the close call. _'Man, now I wish Dawn_ was _here to help me out. She didn't need to leave for Johto so soon.'_ Reaching the door, he mustered what confidence… and manhood he had left. Entering, he found the troupe working with their Pokémon. Moira's Cinccino, Mona's Lilligant and Cher's Roserade worked on their dance routine.

"One, two, one, two," Moira counted while clapping to the rythym. "Keep it up!" Ash watched the troupe's Pokémon, noting their happiness… or lack thereof with Roserade. Sure, Roserade looked elegant but the forced smile bothered Ash. Suddenly, Mona turned around, finding Ash in their room.

"Moira, it seems we have a lovely guest," she called out. Moira, Cher and their Pokémon stopped their dance routine to look.

"My, my… who's this cutie?" The notice got to Ash's nerves that he scratched his wig.

"I'm sorry to disturb your routine," he apologized, using his feminine voice. "Though Roserade's beauty is a little dire." He knelt to see Roserade and felt around the Bouquet Pokémon. Ash's clean hands attracted Cinccino to take a sniff. That's when Ash found what may be ailing Roserade. He turned to Cher, Roserade's trainer. "I think I know what's wrong. There's a bruise right here." Cher came over to find the same bruise.

"My word," she awed. "How could you have seen the bruise and not me?"

"I've worked with plenty of Pokémon before, including a Roserade from before." Moira and Mona gasped at the experience of the disguised trainer. "It would be best that after rehearsal, Roserade gets checked out by Nurse Joy."

"I will. Fortunately, we have one who's a supporter of this beautiful troupe." This gave Ash a confident smile to know Roserade was in good hands. Lilligant and Cinccino squeaked to praise Ash for the welfare on their Pokémon friend.

"I believe our Lilligantette and Cinccinoette love our new arrival," the green-haired troupe member studied. "You must know a lot about a Pokémon's health and beauty for you to conjure Roseradette's ailment." Ash scoffed, still trying to keep himself in character.

"All I did was see Roseradette in pain to know it wasn't feeling good. The rest was instinct." This further rose curiosity among the trio, unaware of the Mightyena in Mareep's wool.

"Say, you'd fit right in with the Flower Garden Troupe," the blond offered. "What's your name?" Ash didn't take a phony name to account. Quickly and rather ironically, he remembered a moment with Team Rocket back in Celadon City. His mind ran back to Jessie, James and Meowth in a similar disguise to enter Erika's Gym after all four were denied access on their criticism to her perfumes.

 _'This is one of those times I want to thank Team Rocket for their shenanigans that I remember my girl name.'_ Regaining composure, he faced Moira with his "name," standing up in the process. "Ashley." Moira took note of "her" name.

"Ashley? I'd question a name like that. You'd be more of an Ashanti. Oh well, it's irrelevant at this point."

"Yes, welcome to the troupe, Ashley," Cher greeted. "And once more, I'm grateful for your service in comforting Roseradette." Ash curtseyed to the three, accepting their praise.

 _'Now that I think about it,'_ he minded. _'These three aren't so bad. Sure, they bad-mouthed all of us, but they probably overreacted to seeing their Pokémon getting hurt by ours.'_ Unaware of any contact, Cinccinoette used her scarves to scan Ash's pocket, holding his Snivy and Iris' Emolga. That's when he saw out of the corner of his eyes the Scarf Pokémon, sweat beginning to pour down his face. Thinking fast, he knelt back down to pet Cinccinoette. "You want to see my Pokémon, Cinccinoette?" Moira's Pokémon squeaked in confirmation. Ash felt as if he needed to face the music until he took a quick breath. _'I can do this. If I pull Emolga out, I can save myself.'_ He reached in and pulled out a Pokéball.

"You want to show us the beautiful Pokémon you possess?" requested Mona.

"Of course!" He opened the Pokéball, Emolga coming out. The sight of the Sky Squirrel Pokémon irked questionable reactions from the trio as it plopped on Ash's shoulder. "Emolga doesn't look pretty right now but with a little work, she could be among the ranks of beauty such as your Pokémon." Moira and Cher weren't sure about turning Emolga pretty, but Mona pondered the possibility.

"If we can do so, I suppose Emolga can be one of the prettiest." That's when Emolga mustered the innocently adorable look that attracted Iris to catch her. Cher's face melted to Emolga's charm.

"That face, I can't help it," she surrendered as she approached the two. This became unfortunate as she stepped off the stage without looking. She started to fall and Ash ran to catch her from hitting the ground hard. However, his momentum and Emolga on his shoulder didn't help him in the least. In fact, Cher's fall landed on top of Ash and to make matters even worse, Ash's wig flew off as they hit the deck. Moira and Mon rushed to check on the two after Cher landed on top of Ash. However, when they found the wig undressed from Ash's head, then Ash as the boy who they directed their disgust along Iris and Cilan, they screeched.

"Cher, get off quickly!" the blond yelled. "It's a boy!" Cher heard Moira and looked to Ash, freaking that she laid on top of him.

"Oh, my word!" she yelped before jumping off. Hearing the girls, Ash realized his cover had been blown.

"Oh man..." he groaned with his normal voice as he covered his face with his hand. "This isn't good." Cher got to her feet before lifting Ash, holding him up by his arms.

"Only in my wildest nightmares would a boy infiltrate the Flower Garden Troupe," Moira growled. She then approached Ash, lifting his chin with her fan. "This was a foil created by those around you. A scheme like this is one you couldn't have proposed on your own." Ash couldn't move. To him, doom loomed. Suddenly…

"Can it be?" spoke Mona. Her heels clicking to each step, she cupped Ash's chin for her own observation. A shocked face told her of a discovery. "It _is_ you! The Pokémon Knight!" Ash blinked, dumbfounded to the green-haired girl's claim. He wasn't alone.

"The Pokémon Knight?" repeated Cher.

"Where is this gibberish from?" asked Moira.

"This boy is the lead in Legend of the Pokémon Knight," Mona answered. "The dashing knight with his Pikachu to rescue the adoring Princess Yuria! I've seen this movie, though I hadn't watched it all, and just wanted to embrace this knight, naming myself his prideful princess… and now that dream is coming true!" Moira and Cher blinked at the tale of their own troupe member adoring an actor who just happened to enter their building. Ash was the same.

"I'm surprised you didn't recognize me when we first met," he pointed out. Mona scoffed to this error.

"Yes, well, we were more concentrated about your Pokémon than knowing the owners. As my apology to you… Cher, make sure he's still." Cher tightened her hold on Ash's arms, the "knight" unable to move. Mona came forward and delivered a soft kiss to his lips. Ash's eyes dilated to the kiss, unsure how to react to the adored member.

"Mona, the forceful," Moira teased, her fan opened. "If she's willing to put lips on a young man like him… she's not alone." The blond confronted the still-latched Ash, pressing her lips on his for a kiss of her own. Cher snickered to Ash's "punishment" delved by her members.

"It's not everyday that a boy enters our facility, less come out unscathed," Cher sneered. She let Ash down but spun him before giving him another kiss. Emolga groaned at the amount of loved attention Ash received.

"It would be an honor for you as the first young man to join the elites of the Flower Garden Troupe," Moira offered.

"Someone like you would be a fine member," Mona agreed.

"Not to mention all the co-stars available," Cher added. This spelled trouble for Ash. Co-stars with this troupe meant more girls. Moira walked over to a door and opened it. From behind, several girls got to meet Ash, some of them having hearts in their eyes on the first sight.

"It's a young man!" they screamed before running in the room and swarming Ash. Girls tore at the gown he borrowed, hugged and kissed him in which there didn't appear to have an escape plan until Emolga fished Snivy out of her Pokéball. By the door, Snivy used Vine Whip to extract Ash. He's lost the heels, the wig, most of the dress and pantyhose but at least he's got is life… and whatever dignity he had before this fiasco.

"Let's get outta here!" he yelped. The two Pokémon agreed. With Snivy on his shoulder and Emolga in the air, Ash sprinted out of the building. The swarm of young women weren't far behind. Iris, Cilan, Pikachu and Axew were coming toward the building to see how Ash was doing in there. They couldn't have timed their return any worse. They saw Ash running as fast as he could with Snivy and Emolga hanging on. Pikachu saw the torn wardrobe and lipstick painting Ash's body.

"Ash?" gulped Cilan.

"What did the little kid do?" wondered Iris. Ash heard her, but continued to run hard.

"Can't talk!" he huffed in his panic. "Run for it!" He dashed past his partners, even Pikachu. Their dumbfounded looks turned away from the potential danger from the other side.

"What was that all about?" Pikachu's ears perked up and turned to the noise of screaming girls in hot pursuit.

"Come back, Sir Pokémon Knight!" one girl cried out.

"Marry me, my prince!" shouted Mona. The huge crowd of girls scared the Electric Mouse Pokémon.

("It's a stampede!") he shrieked. The humans turned to the fast and oncoming crowd.

"Run!" screamed Cilan as he began to pedal his feet. Iris also began to run from the swarm. It didn't take long for this pursuit to claim its first victim as Cilan's feet tangled and he tripped. Only focused on Ash, the girls ran over, literally, Cilan. He laid face-first with his back covered in heel prints and in extreme pain. Along the way, a Trubbish finished a banana and carelessly threw the peel into the path of the stampede. Iris saw the peel, bad nostalgia entering her head.

"Okay, who's really falling for the oldest gag in the book?" she scorned before hopping over the peel. However, her real problem was one she couldn't see coming. Ash ran past some Pokémon eating a few berries, scaring them away. A stray berry rolled in the path of Iris and when she saw that berry in the corner of her eye, disaster. She stepped on the berry and fell on her face. She had no time to recover as the same crowd ran her over as well. She also had heel prints on her back as Pikachu and Axew, miraculously unscathed, raced to check on her. Despite not being a Pokémon, Iris' eyes had swirls.

("Iris?") worried Axew. Iris would be down for awhile. Cilan would be down for awhile. Iris' plan for revenge on the Flower Garden Troupe did not bloom to her expectations. Instead, it wilted and if the troupe does catch Ash, someone may be pushing daises rather soon.


End file.
